


it's always colder on your own;

by Pop_Punk_Princess



Category: Marvel Cinematic Universe
Genre: F/M, based on chapter 49 of jmpwdf by saiansha, excessive use of brackets, he do be sad tho, just (monika) loki
Language: English
Status: Completed
Published: 2020-12-29
Updated: 2020-12-29
Packaged: 2021-03-11 00:41:48
Rating: Teen And Up Audiences
Warnings: No Archive Warnings Apply
Chapters: 1
Words: 579
Publisher: archiveofourown.org
Story URL: https://archiveofourown.org/works/28396344
Author URL: https://archiveofourown.org/users/Pop_Punk_Princess/pseuds/Pop_Punk_Princess
Summary: in his room, shrouded in darkness, loki reflects.he always tended to be blinded when it's bright...
Relationships: Loki (Marvel)/Reader, Loki/OFC
Comments: 3
Kudos: 28





	it's always colder on your own;

**Author's Note:**

  * Inspired by [A Job Million PRs Would Die for](https://archiveofourown.org/works/15991370) by [saiansha](https://archiveofourown.org/users/saiansha/pseuds/saiansha). 



It started so foolishly, he recalls. 

A bit of mischief, nothing _harmful_ , he’d told himself on that day. Just a bit of fun, really. ( - his mind is spiralling, hanging on to seconds as if they were days, trying to fool himself into thinking this could’ve lasted any longer than it did - ) But, oh, how retrospect forced open one’s eyes to things they’d previously refused to see. The beats of hope in his chest, ( he’d forced it down ) the glint of curiosity in his eyes, ( he’d marked it down as predatory mischief ) the shift in the Fates that foretold a change, a _revolution_ ( he’d never admit it, but that one he felt. He felt it deep in his bones. ) It was so bright, that day. She was so electric, that day.

It’s suffocatingly dark now. 

She’s such a _b i t c h_ , isn’t she? 

~~She isn’t.~~

She’s just like everyone else, isn’t she? 

~~She isn’t.~~

She’s coming back to tell him off ( _to tell him something, anything, to tell him to go back to hell, to tell him she was wrong, to tell him he was wrong, to hold his head in her hand and let him hear her voice_ ) … isn’t she? 

... ~~She isn’t.~~ … 

He should’ve slit her fucking throat wide open on that day. He wants to slit it open right now. He wants to take it all back - every nicety, every kiss ~~every longing glance her way telling her that he was glad he survived the fall because it took him right to her~~ , every word. He wants it back in him; where it can bubble and fester and rot with the rest of all his unearned feelings. 

All he sees now is her heartbroken eyes.

The tightness in her limbs as Thor took her away.

“ **Monster** , ” she says in his head. 

“ **foul thing**. ” 

And if her words are sloppily painted over with his own voice, _what of it_ ?

…  
…  
…

There’s still a sink in the bed where her body should be.

Pathetic, really, is what it is. She is but a mortal, and he is a god amongst men. ( _what is a god to the one they c o v e t_ ) He should not be whimpering like a fool, shriveled and wilting in this room. He could have any wretched mortal on this stain of a rock. ( but he wants her. ) He could do whatever he pleases. ( but he wants her. ) There is no reason for his heart to be twisted and bled dry inside of him and no reason for his insides to want to both burst forth out of his skin and yet recede into his bone marrow; because he is a god and she is a mortal and ~~in the end in the end she will always have the upper hand over him~~ in the end this was always going to be the result. She and he were never meant to last. 

So wrote the Fates. 

He wonders if he will die here, and if she would know.

if she would care. 

He loves her still. A love rooted so deep within him, to remove it would _hurt_. There was no way their meeting would result in anything different. She is his dream, she is his waking thoughts. She is what his atoms are composed of; she fills him to his breaking point and floods his senses. She is his end. She is his beginning. 

And, as he recalls, it began so **foolishly**.


End file.
